The Way Back
by Bjrn Fallqvist
Summary: A troubled Kyle Katarn after his defection from the Empire. Plan om making this a serial, and my first serial too, so I would appreciate if you took the time to R&R.


Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or any of the characters in this chapter. They all belong to George Lucas and Lucasarts.

Chapter 1 - Hindsight

It didn't seem to be much of a room at first sight. With it's walls bare, the communications terminal in one corner of the space currently turned off and the only sound reverberating in the somewhat cramped area was the quiet hum of electricity and the far-off thunder of engines, it might as well have been an unoccupied room to a first casual glance.

It wasn't, however. There was a black bag thrown casually on the floor, by the foot of the bed in one corner, where a figure was sitting, his legs crossed beneath him on the military regulated grey covers of the bed.

It was, decided the figure on the bed, not much to be awed at, but it was to this place he had taken flight after his betrayal. Betrayal of everything he had been taught, had drilled into his mind, and also what he for some reason unexplainable also had held dear.

Kyle Katarn was, or at least had been once, a simple man. He had been brought up with a set of beliefs, and what he thought was right. Later on in his life, it had only been reasonable for him to try and contribute something to what had sheltered him and his family, giving them a chance to make something of themselves in life.

And how did he repay them? Betrayal. Although he had been told by this spy which he had befriended and came to trust, Jan Ors, that his family had not died as the consequence of a rebel raid, but something which the Empire staged, that did not justify what he had done.

He had lashed out in anger against the Empire, deciding to throw away the major part of his life as something you discard when you tire of it. In his moment of anger, he had completely forgotten all his training, all his discipline, and most of all, his oath to the Emperor. Be it good or bad, he was from a farming people, and there, trust weighed heavier than any other thing.

The Empire had told him from his first years in the Academy that he was not to trust anything the rebels might try and dissuade him with. He still recognized his teachers' expressions of sorrow when they had told him of his family's demise. Had it all been an act? Or were everyone fooled? Perhaps the rebels had lied to him, as the Empire had. On the other hand, the Empire was what he trusted, but he had felt throughout the latest years that maybe it was a trust not so well founded.

Still, it was a trust he clung to in hope of it being what it said it was. But as Jan had attempted to reveal to him what he had been lied to about, he had also acted out in anger betrayed their fragile friendship.

In a moment of furious madness, he had lashed out against her, threatening to report her to Imperial Intelligence who were known for acting swiftly and without delay.

To both their surprise, he also acted upon his word, his mind still in denial about what she had attempted to tell him. In his world, the Pandora's box that was the circumstances regarding his family's death had been opened, and all it's fury directed itself towards the one thing easiest to blame; Jan. Gone was all the Empire's past doubtless actions he had spent hours pondering the reason to and grieving for the victims. Gone was the small doubt in his mind that he had not been told everything. All he focused on was attempting to hold on to his shrewd view of the truth, and to do this he sacrificed one of the few who had shown him friendship and kindness since entering the Imperial Academy.

Within the day, Jan was led away in binders towards the detention block where she would await transport off the planet to Coruscant, where skilled interrogators were eagerly awaiting her arrival. Watching this ordeal, Kyle strangely enough did not feel exhilarated. As her eyes met her, the dormant seed of doubt in his mind sprang growth and it was not long before he was determined he had made a mistake, betraying his one friend who had shown trust in him.

Although not having let go of his personal connection to the Empire yet, he decided to give the rebel the benefit of a doubt, and before long set his quest into motion about discovering the true background of the possible Imperial lie.

Before the day was over he had, through a few of the slightly less enthusiastic acquaintances he had in the Empire – hackers -, managed to get a hold of a list of all Imperial and rebel activity around his home. There was no mention of Rebels at any place around the date of his family's death. It could easily be a mistake that someone had forgotten to write an entry about it, but it did not make sense, as the Imperial presence was strong on Sulon, and failure to report such a thing would no doubt be viewed with major displeasure. This was enough for him, and to make a long story short, he managed to get Jan out of there and escape, severing his last strings to the Empire.

This was not the only thing that had made him go by his rash decision, however. Not long after entering his service to the Glorious Empire, he noticed that even the most beautiful of rose has its thorns. This one had a whole jungle of them.

At first he thought the inhuman acts were pure mistakes and would not go unpunished, but at time went on, and he saw more of a continuation of these acts than as far and few between occurrences.

He had seen freighters with civilian fugitives from a world under rebel control being vaporized into dust when attempting to escape the coming onslaught of battle.

He had seen the few ones civilians remaining on the ground to be unceremoniously and mercilessly slaughtered to "set an example" for any rebel sympathizers.

He had seen the vast slave trade, including not just aliens, but humans too, that went on behind the front of law and order the Empire wished to represent.

He had seen small villages being turned to debris and rubble under the onslaught of Tie Bombers and Gunboats, leaving nothing alive left behind.

What was worst, he had participated in these actions, and he truly did not feel any joy at being part of the Empire at that time.

In time, the stark white of his armour had in his mind and seen from his eyes been stained by blood, and each time he put it on, it was with revulsion.

And so it was that Kyle Katarn, top graduate of his class, decorated storm trooper and experienced warrior betrayed all that he had been living in for the last two and a half centuries.

He was now in his mid twenties, and from his birth, the Empire had begun the indoctrination, speaking of the Glorious Empire, peace and order. Something everyone wish for, and many fight for.

Now he felt empty, doubtful and alone. Still, in a strange way, he had felt more alone in the Empire, even though he had had his comrades at arms there. Yet, they were no more than fleeting faces at the edge of his mind, him not quite being able to recall them.

Slowly, he reached into his bag of personal belongings he had been allowed to bring, and picked out a small blaster pistol. On the underside of it was engraved "K", for Katarn. It had been his father's personal weapon, a family heirloom that had been passed on to Kyle for his entry into the Imperial Academy.

Mesmerized by the beauty of it, and his own haggard reflection in the shiny black metal, he sat for a few seconds longer before raising the barrel to his temple and inhaling a deep breath.

He would never betray, or be betrayed again. Ever.


End file.
